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into God s kingdom.
He wondered when would be the best moment to announce his ascension
to the Holy See. After this victory, and the fact that his only rival had given
his life against the heretics, albeit unwittingly, it was only a matter of time.
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Guzman nodded to the Dominicans gathered on the ledge below, and they
started to sing. Raggedly, in fits and starts, the soldiers in the valley below
started to sing as well, their rough voices adding an earthy power to the eerie
chant. Guzman couldn t help but join in, swept away by the emotions that the
singing unleashed.
On the hilltop opposite, three Templars watched impassively.  The Cardinals
have been told of his treason?
 Yes, preceptor. We even have the archer who killed de Citeaux in our dun-
geon.
 Excellent. I knew we could not expect a challenge from such amateurs to
politics. Did they really think we would allow either of them to gain power
here? No, our censorship of any mention of the tunnel from their agent s
messages has kept the Roc safe long enough for our rivals to finish each other
off, rather than cement their alliance with a victory. And, of course, we have
this holy relic . . .  He patted the box with the skull.  Let us return to the
preceptory, and choose our candidate for the Holy See.
 And de Carnac?
 Will be remembered with honour, whatever happens to him.
Smoke stung Benny s eyes as soon as she stumbled out of the TARDIS s door,
and waves of heat rolled over her despite the snow. She had been standing
in the square just a few steps from the TARDIS for several seconds before she
realized that her legs weren t working and that she was no longer moving.
Scattered timbers and chunks of masonry were spread all around the
square, the flames that wrapped them obscuring the vague shapes of the vari-
ous bodies that were slumped between the burning skeletons of the buildings.
The village square was as hot as the centre of an oven, but Benny still felt
cold, her thoughts and emotions churning as darkly as the thick smoke.
He had cared after all, she knew. Somehow, she was used to that from him
Some part of her mind told her that his loss was sad, but that there would be
others. Until now, she had believed it.
 He might have got out, the Doctor said quietly.  His horse isn t here: he
could be anywhere within a dozen square miles by now.
 And if he didn t? The soldiers horses are gone, too. Perhaps they captured
it or it ran from the flames. There had been so many men opposing him. Too
many. The Doctor didn t answer, which didn t surprise her  what could he
have said? Some speech about noble self-sacrifice, no doubt.
She didn t want to hear it.
The smoke had faded into a grey blur, and she couldn t really have said
whether it was through tears, detachment or even whether her eyes were still
225
closed, though the gentle hum that pervaded the air indicated that she had
returned to the TARDIS. She didn t even remember doing so. The normally
atmospheric stone had never seemed such a cold and hollow shell, and neither
had she.
The cynical part of her mind that had so often held her in good stead against
the wonders she d seen in her time in the TARDIS. She knew Guy would have
been cut to pieces in seconds, and it numbed her to the core. She hadn t
realized it was possible to feel so cold and lonely, with no other emotions
intruding, and she longed not to be realizing it now. If there s an awkward
way of doing things, I ll find it. How typical to be able to recognize, well,
love, only in hindsight. Only when the pain showed it up for what it was. The
Doctor had seen it, of course, she realized, even though she hadn t.
She was wide awake, but could already feel the memories weaving them-
selves into nightmares around her. More bad memories and bad dreams for
her collection, as if Vandor Prime, Kyle, and all the suffering and deaths she d
seen on her travels hadn t left her enough of those already.
Its mathematically generated environment poised, and spread across all the
possibilities of the universe, the TARDIS was at rest. The Doctor had wrapped
Benny in a thermal blanket with visible concern, as shock took hold of her.
She shook as if all the energy in her body was being drawn from maintaining
temperature and circulation and was being rerouted into trying to prop up her
emotions.
 We could go back after the fires have burnt themselves out, the Doctor
offered.  At least you would know, one way or the other . . . 
Intellectually, of course, she knew that even if he survived the battle he
would have died twelve hundred years before she was even born. At least,
however, she wouldn t have to see his torn and scorched flesh cooling in the
mud. Perhaps, she thought sadly, he might even have found the life of peace
he had wanted.
At least, she could believe that he had  if she didn t know better. She knew
she didn t want to know any better.
He had challenged the soldiers with such energy and vitality that she could
easily imagine him sweeping through them and making a daring escape, per-
haps jumping from the wall as she had about a thousand years ago, or so it
felt. That was a better image to risk seeing every time she closed her eyes
than one of a corpse.
The thought hurt with each breath, as if her lungs were wounded. She
shook her head, needing to free herself from the ties to the battlefield. If she
didn t find a way to face up to never seeing him again, she would go mad. The
decision was painful, but she had to at least prevent him from having given
himself for nothing. A phrase flashed through her mind  until I see a body,
226
he s not dead. Perhaps, she hoped, she could convince herself that this was a
truism. She opened her eyes, to find the Doctor watching her worriedly.  He s
still alive, as far as we know. I couldn t face knowing any further, not so soon.
Do you understand how it feels? She knew she was anything but the only
person ever to feel such enforced and sudden emptiness, but it was a lonely
feeling and she needed understanding more than anything. She wished Ace
was still here  she would have understood.
 Perhaps, he said neutrally, his expression never wavering.
 Then set the controls for somewhere far away from here. Somewhere I can
take my mind off it all. She knew that if she was left to her own devices she
would brood for weeks on end, and she knew that that road led to trauma and
depression. She d be damned if she d let herself slip into that. Guy wouldn t
have wanted that  he d have wanted her to sing songs about him.
 Take your mind off it? Exciting diversions, of course! How about Black- [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]