[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

feeling loss and grief.
This must have been what he d been hiding for the last few days,
no doubt in an attempt not to ruin Ciaran s first Christmas. That was
sweet, if unnecessary. Ciaran cared far more for his mate than any
holiday. He touched Drew s hand.  I m here.
Drew smiled and laced their fingers together.  I know. I m glad
you are.
Ciaran snuggled into his side. Drew wrapped an arm around him,
still holding his hand. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Ciaran let
Drew s warmth soak into him, hoping his presence would be a comfort.
66
Unleashing Ciaran by Cassandra Gold
Watching the tree, he fell into a near doze. Drew s voice pulled him
back to wakefulness.  We should be safe. My father can t hurt anyone
now.
But he d already hurt Drew, both physically and emotionally.
Ciaran lifted Drew s hand to his lips, wishing he knew what to say to
make everything better.
Drew leaned back into the couch cushions and closed his eyes. He
made no move to reclaim his hand, so Ciaran continued to cradle it in his
own. Without opening his eyes, Drew began to speak again.  I don t
understand why he wanted me dead. I left. I wasn t any threat to him or
his leadership.
Ciaran chewed his lower lip.  Perhaps he didn t believe that. He
might not have been able to understand that you didn t want power.
Drew opened his eyes and met Ciaran s gaze.  Like he did.
Drew s lips thinned into an angry line.  I guess he couldn t accept that I
never wanted to be like him.
 And you aren t.
 I hope not. Drew looked down at their joined hands.  All I ever
wanted was for him to love me, or at least be proud of me, but I wasn t the
right kind of son.
That made Ciaran angry.  You re a good man. The best. What more
could he have wanted?
Drew s answering smile was bittersweet.  My brothers are vicious,
territorial, and follow him without question. And they re straight.
Ciaran had not spent much time thinking about Drew s father, but
at that moment he hated the man more than he d ever hated anyone or
anything. Drew had as much control over his sexuality as Ciaran did over
being half-demon. Why did people judge and condemn each other for
such things?
Drew squeezed his hand.  It s okay. I won t say it doesn t hurt that
he hated me so much, but I ve got you now, and he s gone.
Half to himself, Ciaran said,  He didn t succeed. I hope he knew you
survived, and I hope it tormented him.
 Not entirely, anyway. Drew stared at the tree again, and Ciaran
67
Unleashing Ciaran by Cassandra Gold
knew he was thinking of his wolf.
Ciaran slipped from Drew s embrace and stood. He held out his
hand to Drew.  It s late. Come to bed with me.
Drew looked like he would refuse, but then he took Ciaran s hand.
 You re right. It s late.
On the way out of the room, Ciaran stopped to unplug the lights on
the tree. They got ready in silence. When they were both finished, Ciaran
in sleep pants and a T-shirt and Drew in boxers, Ciaran pulled back the
sheets.
Drew climbed into bed. Ciaran shut off the lights and made his
way to his side of the mattress. Although Drew said nothing, Ciaran could
feel his tension. He may have been conflicted over his father s death, but
he was mourning the loss of his wolf. Ciaran couldn t imagine what it
must be like to lose half of yourself. It might be something like having his
wings torn from him, a thought that made him shudder.
He slid across the space separating them and curled up against
Drew s side. He laid one hand over Drew s heart.
Some of the tension in Drew s body eased. He shifted toward
Ciaran. Dim moonlight painted his face in light and shadow. He watched
Ciaran for a moment, his eyes unreadable, before he buried his face
against Ciaran s neck. His voice was the barest whisper.  If I could just
shift  His breath hitched.  I don t know what to do.
How afraid, how lost must he be to allow Ciaran to see it so
clearly? Drew always tried to put up a strong front for him, no matter that
Ciaran didn t need him to. It was Drew s way.
Ciaran stroked Drew s hair, torn by his distress. Please let his wolf
come back. And if it doesn t, let me be strong enough to help him through it.
68
Unleashing Ciaran by Cassandra Gold
Chapter Eleven
The next few days were strangely ordinary. Drew helped Ciaran
clean up the remnants of their Christmas celebration. He worked on his
clients Web sites and the programs he was designing. He had recovered
enough to run each morning, the way he always had. He should have
been relaxed and happy, without the threat of his father trying to have
him killed hanging over his head.
Everything should have been back to normal. It wasn t.
Every time he put on his running shoes, a part of him longed to be
running on four paws instead of two feet. His senses, not as acute in
human form, seemed dulled. He d given up trying to reach his wolf, had
resigned himself to living a fully human life.
Ciaran s quiet presence comforted him more than anything else
could. His mate s unconditional love reminded him that while he d lost
something important, he still had the most precious thing of all. He
couldn t allow himself too much self-pity when there were so many less
fortunate people out there.
On the whole, Drew thought he was handling the loss of his wolf
pretty well. At least he hadn t turned into a blubbering baby. As Alpha of
his own tiny pack, he refused to allow himself to behave that way. It was
time to learn to live his life the way it was now.
In that vein, Drew continued to go about his everyday business.
One day, running in human form wouldn t feel strange. His
hypervigilance, that tendency to look around for watchers every time he
69
Unleashing Ciaran by Cassandra Gold
left the house, would disappear. They would settle into the normal, happy
life he had always wanted.
He just needed time.
* * * * *
 I m leaving.
Drew glanced up from his keyboard to see Ciaran standing in the
doorway, dressed for work in his uniform of black slacks and a white
shirt.  Do you want me to drive you?
Ciaran shook his head.  It s not that cold today, and I have the coat
you bought me.
Drew smiled, remembering Ciaran s reaction to the long wool
peacoat he d given him for Christmas. If Ciaran wore the hat, gloves, and
scarf Janie had gotten him, he should be warm enough.  Okay. Be
careful.
 I will. Ciaran crossed the room and dropped a light kiss on
Drew s lips.  Love you.
 Love you too. Have a good day.
 I will. After a last quick smile, Ciaran turned to go.
Drew watched his mate leave, gaze drawn to his smooth walk and
the slim form even the coat didn t disguise. He turned back to the
computer, still smiling. Who would have thought he would love his
settled, domestic life so much?
Work beckoned, and he focused on his computer screen once more.
Time flew by as it often did when he immersed himself in programming.
He paused in the middle of the day for a quick lunch and went right back
to work afterward.
His normal quitting time was approaching when he heard a sound
outside. He saved his work out of reflex and then stopped to listen. The
sound came again, the crunch of leaves being crushed beneath something.
A foot? Was there someone outside?
Drew waited, sure the sound must have been caused by an animal.
His father was dead. Who else could possibly want to hurt him?
70
Unleashing Ciaran by Cassandra Gold
More crunching, followed by a thump and a muffled curse. Not an
animal, then. Drew tensed and slid from his chair, careful not to make any
noise. He didn t want to alert the intruder to his presence.
Whoever was outside might be harmless.
Somehow he doubted that.
By the time he reached the back door, his heart raced. His instincts
screamed at him that something wasn t right. He opened the door and
peered out before he slipped outside. He walked toward the woods,
cursing his inability to shift and investigate.
 Hello, Andrew.
Drew jerked toward the unexpected sound of a familiar voice. At [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]