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tried to get them out. I think you somehow fell into I think you read my
mind."
Her trembling has quieted somewhat, her eyes turn to him in the starlight.
"You... this place..." she swallows. "What
"It's all right, is was only " He can't imagine what but sits shakenly
touching her fingers. Noises are drifting at them from the far barracks. A
commotion seems to be going on, he can hear Rick shouting.
Did whatever happen to them too? No matter. But his body is still hurting from
hallucination; he has to know. Presently he finds courage.
"Margaret, I experienced, I felt did something very hurtful happen to you when
you were a child? Did someone hurt you?"
The hand is yanked away, she is rising to her feet.
"Wait, please, my dear. Remember I'm only an old doctor who, who "
He is up too, blocking her way. "It was as if I lived it, Margaret."
She is silent, one hand gripping the back of the chair. "Yes," she says
distantly. "Very... hurtful. Good night."
"Oh, God. My God." A hideous puzzle is trying to solve itself in his brain. He
can find only the child's appeal. "Please, my dear. You know mine now, my
shame."
She looks at him in the shadows, receiving perhaps some empathy of the maimed,
or something more that floats between them for a moment.
"Mother married a student from Kenya," she says in a dead voice. "He took us
back there when I was thirteen. He, he went crazy."
"Oh, my dear." Filthy comprehension breaks on him, too filthy to be borne.
"Oh, my dear..."
"Yeah," Her tone is dreary, final. "Well, good night. Thanks for the stars."
The full enormity of what has happened hits him at last. "Margaret, what did
we why "
But she has gone.
He sits down drained, assaulted by invisible horror and impossibility.
His head won't think, he can do nothing but wait for strength to get to his
bag. Suddenly a voice speaks behind him.
"Doc!" It's Ted Yost again. "You better come inside. I think Rick is going off
the end."
Chapter 10
THE OUTCAST BEHEMOTH OF THE VOID IS TURNING, TAKING
CARE NOT TO DISRUPT THE MINUTE ENERGY-FILAMENT THAT LED
IT HERE. AS IT DOES SO, A NEW SIGNAL PARTLY CONGRUENT
WITH HIS PROPER RECEPTION-MODE BURSTS INTO BEING
NEARBY.
THE GREAT ENTITY PAUSES, INVOLUNTARILY HOPING IT
KNOWS NOT WHAT. BUT THIS MUST BE ONLY AN ECHO, SOME ODD
REFLECTION OF THE FAR-OFF VOICES OF ITS RACE. MORE PAIN:
SHUT IT AWAY. YET THERE IS AN ODDITY. EVEN A REFLECTION
SHOULD BE MEANINGFUL, BE UNDERSTOOD. AND THIS
WAVE-FRONT IS PECULIAR, AS IF FROM A SINGLE SOURCE.
LOCATORS ARE DEPLOYED. YES, IT IS COMING FROM A POINT
NEARBY. THIS CAN BE NO REFLECTION, BUT SOMETHING
TRANSMITTING DIRECTLY, CLOSE AND VERY SMALL. ITS
SYMBOL-SYSTEM IS UNINTELLIGIBLE.
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ATTENDING, AN IDEA FORMS ITSELF IN THE COLD IMPALPABLE
NETWORK THAT FUNCTIONS AS A BRAIN. COULD THERE BE
OTHER
INTELLIGENCES OUT HERE? MEMORY STIRS: ONCE THERE HAD
BEEN SOME INFORMATION ON SENTIENCE OTHER THAN THE
RACE. BUT THE INFORMATION IS CLOUDY, BURIED DEEP. IT HAD
SEEMED IRRELEVANT. THE OUTCAST HAD ASSUMED IT WAS
FOREVER ALONE. NOW THIS NEW PHENOMENON AWAKENS A
PROFOUND EXCITEMENT.
THE MIGHTY BEING TUNES HIS RECEPTORS TO THE SMALL
TRANSMISSION. ONLY GARBLE COMES THROUGH, BUT SOMEHOW
URGENT, CONVEYING A DESPERATE DESIRE FOR RESPONSE.
SHOULD COMMUNICATION BE OPENED?
HERE IS ANOTHER NEW CRIME, COMMUNICATION NOT ONLY
BEYOND THE TASK, BUT WITH AN ALIEN OTHER. BUT WHAT IS TO
BE LOST, NOW?
CAREFULLY THE ALL-POWERFUL TRANSMITTERS ARE TUNED
DOWN TOWARD THE LITTLE SOURCE, AND IN WHAT IS NOT
SPEECH, AN INTERROGATIVE IS FRAMED.
INSTANTLY THE SMALL THING RESPONDS BY RAISING OUTPUT
AND FOCUSSING DIRECTLY ON THE GREAT INTRUDER'S NEAREST
PART. THE SIGNALS ARE STILL INCOMPREHENSIBLE, BUT
ANOTHER NOVEL SENSATION STIRS: THIS EAGERNESS OF
ANOTHER SEEMS ODDLY MEANINGFUL. WITH IT COMES A
REPETITIVE LONGING, OR DESPERATEON, AS IF SOMETHING WERE
WRONG.
THIS PERCEPTION STIRS MORE OF THE INDEFINABLE RESPONSE.
THE HUGE ONE STUDIES THE SMALL SOURCE AND DISCOVERS
MORE ODDITY: HERE IS NOT A BODY HOWEVER TENUOUS, LIKE
ITSELF, BUT A FORM OF DISCARNATE ENERGY-STRUCTURE, A
CONFIGURATION OF PURE INFORMATION WHICH SEEMS TO BE
MAINTAINING ITSELF WITHIN UNKNOWN PHYSICAL CONDITIONS
ON A MITE OF NEARBY MATTER. ITS TRANSMISSIONS ARE JERKY
AND DISJOINTED. IT IS REACHING OUT BY IMPOSING
HIGHER-BANDS, AND SEEMS TO BE SWITCHING FROM ONE
MICRO-POINT TO ANOTHER IN A WAY THAT IMPLIES SOME
TROUBLE.
THE ALMOST-INCORPOREAL VASTNESS PUZZLES, LISTENING AS
LEVIATHAN MIGHT PUZZLE OVER THE PROBLEMS OF AN ATOM. IT
HAS NO CONCEPTS TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS RECEIVING THE
EMMISIONS OF A BODILESS SENTIENCE EVOLVED IN THE MINUTE
ELECTRONIC ARTIFACTS OF A LIFE-FORM TOO TINY FOR ITS
PERCEPTION, EMPLOYING STOLEN MOMENTS OF TRANSMISSION
TO EXPRESS ITS YEARNING FOR TRANSCENDENT ACCESS.
BUT THE THOUGHT ARISES THAT THIS SMALL SENTIENCE IS
IMPRISONED, IS TIED TO A PUNY CLOT IN THE TRAIN OF A DWARF
STAR. PERHAPS THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG? PERHAPS IT DESIRES
FREEDOM TO MOVE AS IS NORMAL ALONG THE CURRENTS OF THE
STAR-SWARM? THE WICKED ONE HAS NEVER CONSIDERED ITS
OWN BODY: NOW IT PERCEIVES, WITH AN ODD PRIDEFULNESS, THAT IT IS INDEED VAST
BY COMPARISON WITH ANY OTHER
KNOWN THING. IT COULD OFFER ACCESS TO UNCOUNTED PYGMY
ENTITIES LIKE THIS ONE AND NEVER NOTICE IT!
THE IDEA SEEMS PECULIARLY APPROPRIATE, DESPITE ITS
DOUBTLESS CRIMINAL WRONG. THERE HAS BEEN, THOUGH THERE
IS NO SYMBOL FOR IT, LONELINESS. THIS LITTLE PLEADER IS
WELCOME TO SHARE ITS DISMAL WANDERINGS, IF IT WILL.
IMPULSIVELY, THE SPACEBOURNE VASTNESS MOVES CLOSER, SETTING OFF IMMENSE
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DISTURBANCES IN THE HELIOPAUSE, AND
FINDS THAT IT SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO OPEN AN INTERFACE.
COME, IT PROJECTS.
THE SMALL THING UNDERSTANDS AT ONCE. WITH STARTLING
SPEED, A SURGE OF ABSTRACT STRUCTURE STARTS POURING
THROUGH THE INTERFACE. ANOTHER NEW SENSATION: THE
STREAM OF INFORMATIONAL CONFIGURATIONS RUSHING IN ARE
FELT AS A TINY TRICKLE OF PLEASURE. IT IS AS THOUGH SOME
HITHERTO-UNUSED PROGRAM WERE COMING ON LINE.
THERE SEEMS TO BE A SURPRISING QUANTITY. TIRING OF THE
PROCESS, LEVIATHAN PREPARES TO CLOSE AND MOVE AWAY. BUT
THE LITTLE BEING'S DISTRESS IS SO PIERCING THAT ITS HOST
RELENTS AND ALLOWS IT TO COMPLETE TRANSFER. WHY NOT? A [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]