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I froze with one hand on my comb and the other grasping a chunk of hair. Even
with everything that had happened the previous night, I clearly remembered
Peter telling me it was Alex and Caro who had suggested the game. So why
hadn t he admitted that he was the one who d initiated it? If his conscious
motive was, in fact, to throw Alex and Caro together, why hadn t he just told
me the truth? Anxiety fluttered down from my chest to take up residence in my
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stomach. Maybe it was actually starting to happen: the feelings Peter had been
repressing were finally escaping from the subconscious pit in which he d tried
to keep them buried, and he d wanted an excuse to see Caro and me at the same
time, the better to compare and contrast and sort out what he truly felt. That
was a disconcerting thought it was pretty obvious who d come out ahead. In
fact, if the contest had indeed started, it was probably already over, as
well.
Caro was still talking, and I tried to concentrate on her words rather than my
panic.  Things would never work with Alex and me, she was saying.  I can t
put my finger on it, exactly, but we just don t click. We have a lot of the
same interests, and we have a lot of friends in common we ve gone sailing a
couple of times, and we re even in the same cycling club but there s something
missing.
 Oh? I asked, but I wasn t surprised to learn Caro was in a cycling club. She
was probably in all sorts of clubs dedicated to activities that Peter would
love, things like kayaking and rock climbing and Ultimate Frisbee. I wasn t in
any clubs, except for a book club that hardly ever met. When we did meet, we
usually skipped the book and went straight for the booze.
 We carpool every so often, when there s a cycling outing or to parties, but
somehow it s always hard to keep the conversation going. He gave me a ride
home the other night, and it felt like the drive would never end.
I was looking for anywhere to take my thoughts but where they currently were,
and typically, my mind zeroed in on the wrong part of what she was telling
me namely, that if Alex had given her a ride home from the party, then he most
definitely hadn t been with Hilary. But it couldn t hurt to be sure, and
trying to identify Hilary s new man was infinitely preferable to wondering how
long it would be before I was in the market for a new man, as well.  What kind
of car was Alex driving? I asked.  The other night?
 What? asked Caro, surprised by the direction in which I was taking our
little locker-room chat.  Um, an SUV of some sort. I wasn t really paying
attention.
 Is that the only car he has?
 It s the only one I ve seen him drive. It s convenient because he can strap
his bike onto the back.
Part of me was relieved to hear this. I didn t want Alex Cutler to be Hilary s
first love. His tennis court behavior suggested that underneath the pleasant
exterior lay the interior of a jerk.
 Speaking of couples, said Caro, even though we hadn t been,  What s going on
with your friend Hilary and her boyfriend? His name is Ben, right? The tall
guy with the dark hair?
Caro might not have been expecting me to ask about Alex s car, but I
definitely hadn t been expecting her to ask about Ben. I gave up on my own
hair and turned to face her.  I was just thinking about them. You know, they
broke up the other night. At the party.
 Really?
 Yes. In fact, Hilary s already got a new guy.
Caro hesitated.  Then does that mean Ben s available?
 I guess so. Why?
I thought she might be starting to blush, but she was so tanned it was hard to
tell.  Oh, I was just wondering, she said, striving for a casual tone.  We
started talking at the party, right at the beginning of the evening, and I
felt like we were hitting it off. But then I got hijacked by Alex, and the
next time I saw Ben he was with Hilary, and Peter told me they were together.
 Not anymore, I said, wondering at this new twist. Was it possible Caro was
as skilled as Peter at deluding herself about what sort of man was right for
her? As far as I could tell, she and Ben couldn t be less alike: she was
polished and bright and outgoing, and he was well, not polished, frequently
moody and occasionally a bit slow. But Caro was interested in him. Maybe there
was something about carrying a gun that had a more universal appeal than I d
realized.
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 Do you know if he ever found a place to rent a boat?
 Rent what? I asked, beginning to collect my things and stow them in my bag.
At Caro s insistence, we d thrown away the blood-stained tennis dress, but I
had the feeling it would be appropriate to buy her a new one. That wouldn t
have been a problem if I had even the faintest idea as to where to begin
shopping for such a thing.
 He was asking me about places where he could rent a sailboat for a day or
two. I can t remember how it came up, but I d mentioned that I sail.
 I didn t know Ben was a sailor, I said. Then again, there was a lot about
Ben I didn t know.
 He was thinking it would be fun to get out on the water for an afternoon,
said Caro.  I suggested a couple of marinas where you can rent boats, and I
even offered to lend him mine.
 Uh-huh, I said distractedly, stealing a surreptitious glance at my
BlackBerry. The little red light was flashing again.
 I don t use it as much as I d like, and it s a pity for it just to sit there,
empty, Caro said, presumably about her boat.
 Uh-huh, I said again as I scrolled through the messages that had
accumulated. Ben, as if he knew we would be talking about him, had sent me a
text just a few minutes earlier. I clicked it open.
Sorry I missed your call. Still waiting on list of L ini owners and haven t
gotten to receipts yet. Following up on hunch now. Will check in later. Ben
Belatedly, I realized we d neglected to tell him Hilary was safe, although,
from his perspective, it might be better for her to have been abducted than
gushing with unprecedented excitement about the new man in her life. And his
message served as a vivid reminder that he should have known better than to
think things would work out with Hilary she would never be able to sustain a
long-term relationship with someone who used emoticons.
I was in a mean mood now, and this was a mean thought on my part, but it
wasn t the meanness that gave me pause. In fact, it was more than a pause it
was an epiphany. The realization washed over me with abrupt clarity, leaving
me amazed at how long it had taken to arrive. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]